Wisdom From Proverbs Part 2 Sex and Money

Wisdom From Proverbs: Sex &  Money

“Wisdom is competence with regard to the realities of life.”

Gerhard von Rad   ‘The Wisdom of Israel’

Wisdom is proficiency in understanding how life really works.

 

Words of wisdom for young men and women are given regarding one of the most important areas of life in Proverbs Chapter 7.

Follow my advice, my son;
always treasure my commands.
² Obey my commands and live!
Guard my instructions as you guard your own eyes.
⁵ Let them protect you from an affair with an immoral woman,
from listening to the flattery of a promiscuous woman.

One of the most striking images in the entire Bible is found in these following verses.

Let’s image that we are in this community and witnessing this event.

While I was at the window of my house,
looking through the curtain,
⁷ I saw some naive young men,
and one in particular who lacked common sense.
⁸ He was crossing the street near the house of an immoral woman,
strolling down the path by her house.
⁹ It was at twilight, in the evening,
as deep darkness fell.
¹⁰ The woman approached him,
seductively dressed and sly of heart.
¹¹ She was the brash, rebellious type,
never content to stay at home.
¹² She is often in the streets and markets,
soliciting at every corner.
¹³ She threw her arms around him and kissed him,
and with a brazen look she said,
¹⁴ “I’ve just made my peace offerings
and fulfilled my vows.
¹⁵ You’re the one I was looking for!
I came out to find you, and here you are!
¹⁷ I’ve perfumed my bed
with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
¹⁸ Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning.
Let’s enjoy each other’s caresses,
¹⁹ for my husband is not home.
²¹ So she seduced him with her pretty speech
and enticed him with her flattery.
²² He followed her at once,
like an ox going to the slaughter.
He was like a stag caught in a trap,
²³ awaiting the arrow that would pierce its heart.
He was like a bird flying into a snare,
little knowing it would cost him his life.

²⁴ So listen to me, my sons,
and pay attention to my words.
²⁵ Don’t let your hearts stray away toward her.
Don’t wander down her wayward path.
²⁶ For she has been the ruin of many;
many men have been her victims.
²⁷ Her house is the road to the grave.
Her bedroom is the den of death. Proverbs 7

 

From the very beginning of mankind, God created the Family Unit as His foundation for human society.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.

The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:18, 21-24

God’s design is a committed relationship that we call marriage, where the husband and wife become one unified couple, who care for one another, giving to each other totally, with children that they lovingly care for and raise them to know and follow their God, and children who respect and honor their parents.

 

God commanded His people to never do anything that would harm or interfere with the Family Unit.

“You shall not commit adultery.” Exodus 20:14

“You must never have sexual relations with a close relative, for I am the LORD. Leviticus 18:6

The following verses list some of these relatives, with the understanding that these prohibitions apply to both sexes: Mother, mother in law, sister, step-sister, granddaughter, aunt, sister in law, daughter in law, or any extended family member.

Included in these prohibitions are having sex your neighbor’s wife, and homosexuality.

“Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin. Leviticus 18:22

Why would God give these explicit instructions that protect the Family Unit to His people?

“Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, for the people I am driving out before you have defiled themselves in all these ways. Leviticus 18:24

The Egyptian and Canaanite culture had no boundaries when it came to sexual relationships. It was common for Pharaohs to marry their sisters (or half sisters) to keep the royal family line intact.

Do you notice any similarities with this ancient culture and our modern society?

 

In Proverbs 5, we see a picture of what Biblical marriage should be.

Drink water from your own cistern
And fresh water from your own well.
¹⁶ Should your springs be dispersed abroad,
Streams of water in the streets?
¹⁷ Let them be yours alone
And not for strangers with you.
¹⁸ Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
¹⁹ As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated (intoxicated) always with her love. Proverbs 5:15-19

 

These are graphic sexual images.

 

·         Cistern and well are images for female sexuality.

·         Fountain and springs are images for male sexuality

·         Exhilarated - staggering as drunk

·         Strangers: People who do things that are foreign to their true being- even if it feels good.

 

 

This is what Marriage should be like!

Erotic, Fulfilling and Satisfying.

Casual Sex is to be avoided. It is not God’s design

 

Here is another element of Biblical marriage:

 

To deliver you from the strange woman,
From the  adulteress who flatters with her words;
¹⁷ That leaves the companion of her youth
And forgets the covenant of her God; Proverbs 2:16-17

 

Companion of youth. Alluph - intimate friend

 

Biblical Marriage is to be in love with your best friend.

 

You should be intoxicatingly in love with your spouse, and she should be your best friend.

This is maximum intimacy.

 

The Biblical view of marriage is historically counter cultural of marriage for economic and fertility reasons.

 

In many cases throughout history, marriage was not for love, friendship or companionship.

 

It has been for political, economic or family status & power.

 

But the Bible says yes to this totally committed, totally intimate relationship!

 

There are three things which are too wonderful for me,
Four which I do not understand:
¹⁹ The way of an eagle in the sky,
The way of a serpent on a rock,
The way of a ship in the middle of the sea,
And the way of a man with a maid. Proverbs 30:18-19

These are erotic sexual images of a man and woman coming into the realm of another.

 

·         Eagle rides the air as a Man rides the Woman

·         Snake slithers on a rock as a man’s penis moves along the woman’s pubic area.

·         Ship parting the waves is the image of a man entering a woman.

 

For the writer, these are images describing physical love between a man and woman that are “Too Wonderful.”

 

Immediately following this “Too Wonderful” image is a contrasting image that jars the senses.

 

This is the way of an adulterous woman:
She eats and wipes her mouth,
And says, “I have done no wrong.” Proverbs 30:20

 

This attitude points to Sex as an appetite to be filled in any manner, even sloppy consumption.

This is what non-Biblical culture often does with sex by turning it into a commodity.

 

Commodification: the act or fact of turning something into an item that can be bought and sold.

Physical sex becomes a consumer-vendor relationship.  

Prostitution is often referred to as ‘The world’s oldest profession.”

 Your needs are more important than the relationship.

 

Biblically, social relationships are commitment based, others-centered relationships.

Because this is the ‘fabric’ of Creation, life is happier with commitment relationships.

When Commodification is applied to our relationships, it’s the product not the person that matters.

This has led to the commodification of sex.

In our modern era, sex is sold in cinema, legal brothels as well as online.

Pornography has been described as ‘every man’s challenge.’ 

The ease of access to porn through computers, ipads and phones has made it a major issue in our society and has affected dating trends and marriage.

Pre-marital sex is presented as normal throughout the arts as well as our communal laws and norms and considered a normal part of adolescence and adulthood.

Sex outside of marriage is an exchange of products, not self.

“I want the product, the pleasure, but not you.”

Having sex outside of marriage is like buying groceries, a consumption.

 

The Bible says You must never give someone your body without giving them your whole self.

You must never receive someone’s body unless you receive their whole self.

That’s why marriage is the key.

Without marriage you are not sharing all of your life.

You have kept the right to your own decisions.

 “Sex should not be a means of self-gratification but is a radical deeply personal means of self-donation. If you are using sex as a self-donation, you are soaring. If not, you turn sex into buying your groceries. It will be routine, boring- there will be no wonder left.”  Tim Keller

 If you are not in a committed marriage, then you have not given yourself.

You are retaining the right to get out of the relationship if your needs are not met at an acceptable cost. 

We have undervalued sex and turn it into a commodity.

Often we overvalue sexual attractiveness and physical beauty.

¹⁶ A gracious (beautiful) woman attains honor,
And ruthless men attain riches. Proverbs 11:16

Honor: Kabod” glory, abundance, importance, significance.

 

Men use power and women use looks to get significance.

Too many women tie their self-regard to their looks, how they dress,

 

As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout
So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion. Proverbs 11:22

 

Our First world culture places higher value on attractiveness.

If your need is to be with an attractive woman or man, you are reaching out for beauty but often ending us with a messy relationship.

This is foolishness.

We don’t look for character but looks.

Our culture gives us false values when it comes to marriage.

 

The Biblical mandate is intimacy on all levels in a committed relationship called marriage.

It is a celebration of God’s Creation and the attractiveness He has given to man for a woman and for a woman to a man.

Here are some Scriptures I wish I had read while in high school:

How beautiful are your sandaled feet,
O queenly maiden.
Your rounded thighs are like jewels,
the work of a skilled craftsman.
² Your navel is perfectly formed
like a goblet filled with mixed wine.
Between your thighs lies a mound of wheat
bordered with lilies.
³ Your breasts are like two fawns,
twin fawns of a gazelle.
⁴ Your neck is as beautiful as an ivory tower.
Your eyes are like the sparkling pools in Heshbon
by the gate of Bath-rabbim.
Your nose is as fine as the tower of Lebanon
overlooking Damascus.
⁵ Your head is as majestic as Mount Carmel,
and the sheen of your hair radiates royalty.
The king is held captive by its tresses.
⁶ Oh, how beautiful you are!
How pleasing, my love, how full of delights!
⁷ You are slender like a palm tree,
and your breasts are like its clusters of fruit.
⁸ I said, “I will climb the palm tree
and take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like grape clusters,
and the fragrance of your breath like apples.
⁹ May your kisses be as exciting as the best wine— Song of Songs 7:1-9

God invented Sex as the ultimate expression of intimacy.

We should enjoy this gift He has given us within the context of Marriage.

 

 

 

A Biblical Look at Our Money

Wealth is a good thing!

Creating wealth is positive

Poor is he who works with a negligent hand,
But the hand of the diligent makes rich.
⁵ He who gathers in summer is a son who acts wisely,
But he who sleeps in harvest is a son who acts shamefully. Proverbs 10:4-5

It is the blessing of the LORD that makes rich,
And He adds no sorrow to it. Proverbs 10:22

 

Hard work, ingenuity, self-control, and discipline will generally result in prospering materially and economically.

 

Genesis gives us a unique understanding of the material world

Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. Genesis 2:15

Cultivate: āḇaḏ: expend considerable energy and intensity in a task or function. to improve by labor, care, or study.

 

God creates the world, and we are given responsibility for it.

The more we care for it, the more that is given to us to care for.

The more money you make the more of the world is yours to care for.

We are made for making money and caring.

 

 

Know well the condition of your flocks,
And pay attention to your herds;
²⁴ For riches are not forever,
Nor does a crown endure to all generations.
²⁵ When the grass disappears, the new growth is seen,
And the herbs of the mountains are gathered in,
²⁶ The lambs will be for your clothing,
And the goats will bring the price of a field,
²⁷ And there will be goats’ milk enough for your food,
For the food of your household,
And sustenance for your maidens. Proverbs 27:23-27

The Bible says that diligent focused work will result in abundance and undiscipline and laziness will result in want.

He who tills his land will have plenty of bread,
But he who pursues worthless things lacks sense. Proverbs 12:11

The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing,
But the soul of the diligent is made fat. Proverbs 13:4

In all labor there is profit,
But mere talk leads only to poverty. Proverbs 14:23

 

 

 

 Money has an incredible spiritual power attached to it- a dangerous power

¹⁰ For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. 1 Timothy 6:10

 

Wealth can corrupt your integrity

 ¹ A false balance is an abomination to the LORD,
But a just weight is His delight. Proverbs 11:1

False weights relate to deceptive business practices.

 

Bread obtained by falsehood is sweet to a man,
But afterward his mouth will be filled with gravel. Proverbs 20:17

 

Wealth makes you self-centered to the detriment of the community

²⁶ He who withholds grain, the people will curse him,
But blessing will be on the head of him who sells it. Proverbs 11:26

Such self-centered behavior results in societal degeneration.

Proverbs condemn a business with only one bottom line- personal profit, but commands an important and non-negational bottom line –

the good of the community.

Proverbs describes the Righteous as those who value community as the bottom line in business as well as personal profit.

They forego greater profit for the common good.

They understand their money belongs to the community, they make their money in such a way that builds up the community; they consume only in a way that benefits the community.

The unrighteous make it for themselves and spend it on themselves.

The  wages of the righteous is life,
The income of the wicked, punishment. Proverbs 10:16

In our purchasing choices, we should ask “Which company does better for the community?”

If you don’t ask which company is better for the community, maybe you have been corrupted by the power of money.

Wealth has the power to distract you from what is really important.

Riches do not profit in the day of wrath,
But righteousness delivers from death. Proverbs 11:4

 

Wealth distracts you from the two principal judgement day questions.

“What did you do with Jesus?”

“What did you do with the resources I gave you?”

 

Wealth makes you much busier than you should be.

Do not weary yourself to gain wealth,
Cease from your consideration of it.
⁵  When you set your eyes on it, it is gone.
For wealth certainly makes itself wings
Like an eagle that flies toward the heavens. Proverbs 23:4-5

 

Wealth makes you forget about the purpose of God given wealth.

The righteous is concerned for the rights of the poor,
The wicked does not understand such concern. Proverbs 29:7

 

Wealth makes you proud, overconfident.

Give me neither poverty nor riches;
Feed me with the food that is my portion,
⁹ That I not be full and deny You and say, “Who is the LORD?”
Or that I not be in want and steal,
And profane the name of my God. Proverbs 30:8-9

The more money you make the more successful you think you are, the more you think you deserve what you got. You become overconfident in your own instincts, your own judgements, and you don’t listen to people.

This is the addictive power of money over you.

“To see a man humble under prosperity is the greatest rarity in the world.”  Bernard of Clairvaux

 

 Why does it have this power?

The rich man’s wealth is his fortress,
The ruin of the poor is their poverty. Proverbs 10:15

The name of the LORD is a strong tower;
The righteous runs into it and is safe.
¹¹ A rich man’s wealth is his strong city,
And like a high wall in his own imagination. Proverbs 18:10-11

Wealth is your significance instead of God.

It is THE alternative to God.

Money offers you significance and security apart from God

 

How can we break the power of money over us and use it for good?

Understand that Money is a great tool for the Kingdom.

Understand the scattering principle.

 

There is one who scatters, and yet increases all the more,
And there is one who withholds what is justly due, and yet it results only in want.
²⁵ The  generous man will be prosperous,
And he who waters will himself be watered.
²⁶ He who withholds grain, the people will curse him,
But blessing will be on the head of him who sells it. Proverbs 11:24-26

One who is gracious to a poor man lends to the LORD,
And He will repay him for his good deed. Proverbs 19:17

He who is generous will be blessed,
For he gives some of his food to the poor. Proverbs 22:9

 

These principles in Proverbs are echoed in the Christian Scriptures

¹⁹ “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; ²¹ for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
²² “The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. ²³ But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!
²⁴ “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and  wealth. Matthew 6:19-24

 

Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.” Luke 6:38

 

⁶ Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. ⁷ Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. ⁸ 2 Corinthians 9:6-8

 

You yourselves also know, Philippians, that at the  first preaching of the gospel, after I left Macedonia, no church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving but you alone; ¹⁶ for even in Thessalonica you sent a gift more than once for my needs. ¹⁷  Not that I seek the gift itself, but I seek for the profit which increases to your account. Philippians 4:15-17

 

God gives us what we need and more for His purposes to help those around us.

We should be like the farmer scattering seed and later gathering his crops.

Wealth is your seed. The only way to true riches.